116

The happiest mom in Minnesota
Went to Dakota
To take perkisets
Hearts pounding
Weird clicking noise
It amps up the pressure even more
But now I know that it's for sure
Been smoking inside all night long
Beside thirsty girls
And preppy girls
a chante
Means wearing purple
They're wearing purple
If you want to show
How much you don't care
Wear purple
Queens wear purple
Prince wears purple
Pekipsy
Is a place
Where you play lazer tag
Love is a lot like lazer tag
It moves really fast
If you wanna take a step back
You're running away
And if you try to run away in lazer tag
You're it
You're it
You've always been it
Leave the crusts on
Leave the porch light on
I'm going home
What?
“How terrible it is when you say I love you and the person on the other end shouts back ‘What?'
It will only hit you when it hurts
Where it hurts
Zap zap zap
Purple lazers everywhere
It's just love
Like scabs
Pick em off
Or don't
No leave them
They're purple
They match your shirt
Those purple love stains match your shirt
Dasshot

115

She called it musty
but I called it sex
when she smelled like Chanel
and cigarettes
Up in that rarefied atmosphere
windows and plywood lofts
sky lines and bed views
I was sitting in an armchair
Just thinking about my thoughts
A toilet paper streamer party
in the bathroom stall
and pretty fuckin' flower paper
on a wrinkly wall
Fuck, fight or hold a light
The dirt under her nails
The smoke under her tales
Spun round and up
Shut down and never
Spun round and up
And rose forever
24 7 up
Forever and a day
It was long, it was short
Like her hair, like her snort
Like her drink, and her skirt
That fingernail dirt
The only island she was on
was made of long iced tea
And the blue sky fell all around, all around
and the blue sky fell all around

114

salt and spikes
spiky shoes
rockabilly blues
emo is news
but that's just how i feel
pretty boy floyd
spiking, grooving, bodies moving
crunch, crunch, crunch
We can time it
To the minute
stare out a window
at evaporating shadows
and
forming fixtures
take a picture
of
light posts and salt grains
chewing on leather
soles and the souless
chewed, bitten, now biting
a winter that's air
a winter that's there
sometimes
no Photoshop
make for the best pictures
but please add some filters
an eye and some film
and some magic
(smile less,
speak less,
big eyes,
cheeks in,
mouth open,
hair down,
tilt left but tilt right,
but head down,
now chin up,
now sit tight)
click, click, click,
yah that
emo
fuckin'
kid
shit
(grow up baby/it's beautiful/just like you)
it's the latest accessory
like the scarf 'round your neck
like the hat on your head
and fingertips
red
poking out from
those fingerless
gloves
whew..
the winter wind biting
salt chewing
feet fighting
not to trip
loose shoe
grips
those soleless soled shoes you
haven't gotten used to
exhaust spew
street lights stream
and steam
from glossy sewers
artificial warmth from the trains below and bodies moving
to and fro
And you can hear the snow
Sounds muffled, feets shuffled
As flakes fall
We can time it
To the minute
Fall, fall, fall
Except "snowflakes", they say, "don't make no sound at all"
But they do, and they do
Everything does
and if you thought you heard buzzing
in your ears
it's about to get a lot louder, my dears

113

On a Sunday
Stay in bed as long as you can
On a Sunday
More than you
On a Sunday
But who is counting
On a Sunday
Some days I'm clean and safe
On a Sunday
Most days I'm dirty and dangerous.
On a Sunday
Both are fun/boring.
On a Sunday
Fly me too the moon
On a Sunday
Put a knife to my diamond cocoon
On a Sunday
Wilted flower
on a pedestal
Kiss tiny flowers
On a Sunday
Young tongues
Out the mouth
Like a plastic lid
On a paper cup
On a Sunday
Silver chairs
But I want platinum
On a Sunday
Give me sunflowers
On a Sunday
When sleeping all day is OK
On a Sunday
Muffled noises about the room
Give me any day but Sunday, soon.

112

this is about nothing
and all that nothing means
all it means is nothing
and it all means nothing
no
it was the best worst thing she could have
known
there is no right and
there is no wrong
there is only a lack of
black (it's always too bright)
and understanding (yah, I see the light)
but if you knew then you might know why
an ugly thing is ugly
and then you might even think this ugly thing pretty
and if not
then you would know
for absolutely certain
that it was what it was
as you thought
and nothing different
because hope was still just a place
you only could imagine
but you couldn't be sure
you could only imagine
only, you could imagine
only, could you imagine?
a better place you us we
were going to end up
and then you would know
for sure
there is absolute right
and then you would know
for sure
there is absolute wrong
then and only then
and still, and just still
all it means is nothing
and it all means nothing
nothing still,
just like always,
just like
the pretty skewed view
the pretty skied view
the pretty lake view
and the ocean view
and the morning's dew
and now i think of wet things
like abandoned umbrellas
and melting gold rings
but i never took my eyes off you
but i need to feel new
It's hard to believe things will change
It's harder to believe things won't
it's hardest to leave this place
but it's worse never to go
my heart, sometimes I hear it dying
when it's voice is really low
and i'm worried if i stay here anymore
what will happen
and it's not enough to stay because
my heart it is a muscle
so i've got to let it grow and
i've got to let it breathe and
i've got to and bleed and
i've got to let it beat
and don't think too much about it
cause nothing's all it means
and all it means is nothing
just like always
just like
never-ending
light-suspending
day dreams

110

stop being clever
it's boring
it gets tired fast
and annoying
just be original
dot dot dot
now THERE is a mother fucking challenge

get one today!

109

I want to go
somewhere dark,
you know
But not to a place
you can actually go
But somewhere darke
fancy like. Carry the Le
Fancy Like, like a la carte
But not sad dark,
But a fun dark
A late-night dark
An early-morning
A dark that's purple
A dark that makes you smirk
And ask yourself is this really
ha-p-p-ening?
Am I
here?
Are you
there?
Dark like indigo
Dark like violet
Maroon
And emerald
I wanna go somewhere dark
Oh, won't you take me to that dangerous rainbow
Let's see
if we
Can reach
It's end
And then
Our friends
To end
the night
In black
And white

"What an unfortunate end! How wunderful!"